New Love

I often inwardly groaned when friends would share their Grandies latest achievements. Now I gloat with equal enthusiasm.

Femidist falling in love with Lily Buckland

How can we love another as much as the first?

When my first child was born I could not comprehend how I could love another baby as much as this one, a deeply as this one, as completely.

The love I felt for my first baby, Stacey, blew me away. She was perfect to me and my heart was so full of joy I though it may burst. Every smile melted me, every cry tore me apart, every milestone was an amazing feat to be boasted.

I would walk hot coals, fight off wild beasts or go hungry for this child. She was my world and I would lay down my own life in order to protect hers.

When I became pregnant with my second, I truly worried I would not love him the same. How could I possibly? Would he run second best? Would he notice he wasn’t my world as his big sister was? I am serious …this was a genuine concern to me.

I have often heard other mothers repeat this concern. How will I love another? This is different to “How will I cope” or “How can we afford another” This is an emotional fear… about loving another as much as the first.

What I learnt to my delight and surprise is that I did not have to divide my love but in fact if was multiplied. There was in fact no problem. I loved my second and then my third with the same total and complete abandon.

Just over 5 months ago I became a grandmother. Again I was unsure how I would relate to this new baby. When Lily was born my absolute priority was the physical and emotional safety and well-being of her mother, my daughter. My role was to parent Stacey  and that is what I did.

Lily was cute , no doubt about it but those first few days I was a little detached from her and more focused on Stacey.

However within a week the multiplication factor kicked in I was even more besotted than I considered possible. My little family was growing and so was my heart.

I have heard other grandparents speak of their unconditional love for their grandchildren. The special bond, the love, the delight. It is a feeling of deep pride and pure delight. I want to shout, pointing at Lily “Look!!! Look at what I have created. She is surely the most perfect, gifted, funny loving creature ever”.

I often inwardly groaned when friends would share their Grandies latest achievements. Now I gloat with equal enthusiasm.

And guess what? There is another one coming……any day in fact. Wooo Hooo

It is so true: Grandchildren are our reward for all the hard work of being parents ourselves.

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