How can we love another as much as the first?
When my first child was born I could not comprehend how I could love another baby as much as this one, a deeply as this one, as completely.
The love I felt for my first baby, Stacey, blew me away. She was perfect to me and my heart was so full of joy I though it may burst. Every smile melted me, every cry tore me apart, every milestone was an amazing feat to be boasted.
I would walk hot coals, fight off wild beasts or go hungry for this child. She was my world and I would lay down my own life in order to protect hers.
When I became pregnant with my second, I truly worried I would not love him the same. How could I possibly? Would he run second best? Would he notice he wasn’t my world as his big sister was? I am serious …this was a genuine concern to me.
I have often heard other mothers repeat this concern. How will I love another? This is different to “How will I cope” or “How can we afford another” This is an emotional fear… about loving another as much as the first.
What I learnt to my delight and surprise is that I did not have to divide my love but in fact if was multiplied. There was in fact no problem. I loved my second and then my third with the same total and complete abandon.
Just over 5 months ago I became a grandmother. Again I was unsure how I would relate to this new baby. When Lily was born my absolute priority was the physical and emotional safety and well-being of her mother, my daughter. My role was to parent Stacey and that is what I did.
Lily was cute , no doubt about it but those first few days I was a little detached from her and more focused on Stacey.
However within a week the multiplication factor kicked in I was even more besotted than I considered possible. My little family was growing and so was my heart.
I have heard other grandparents speak of their unconditional love for their grandchildren. The special bond, the love, the delight. It is a feeling of deep pride and pure delight. I want to shout, pointing at Lily “Look!!! Look at what I have created. She is surely the most perfect, gifted, funny loving creature ever”.
I often inwardly groaned when friends would share their Grandies latest achievements. Now I gloat with equal enthusiasm.
And guess what? There is another one coming……any day in fact. Wooo Hooo
It is so true: Grandchildren are our reward for all the hard work of being parents ourselves.